The Rise & Grind Blog, From Pure Grind Coffee
Bonjour Bitches: Why You Need A French Press
Fellow coffee snobs, it’s time. It’s time to take your coffee snobbery to a whole new freaking level. It’s time to kick it up a few notches, throw those papery assed filters away, and snag a FRENCH PRESS. Imagine pure bean on water action, with no paper filters to get in the way and suck up all of that coffee oil magic. Friends, it is indeed time to savor coffee brilliance on a whole new level. A French Press brings your coffee game to a whole new level. Sure. You’ll be called an elitist. Yes, you may be called a snob. But know this, you will have joined a club of connoisseurs like none other. You will have made the BIG TIME.
Coursing Through Your Veins
Coffee is, as it’s a powerful protector of many of your body’s organs, including the blood and gets your blood jacked for the hustle. Experts say the caffeine in coffee benefits the cardiovascular system. A French Press is designed for the raw grounds to directly touch the water, instead of flowing through a filter. That’s old news. We’re modern. Skip the paper crap so you can get all the good stuff — the nutrients and antioxidants that the coffee provides. You want your coffee to not just be full of flavor, but full of health benefits. An antioxidant-rich solution to your health concerns? Hell freaking yeah. Let’s PRESS on.
Pure Coffee Snobbery
ALL true Coffee snobs praise the French Press method of brewing because it allows you to drink coffee the way nature intended it to — in its purest form. When you plunge that plunger into the depths of your Pure Grind Coffee beans, you extract the truest essence and SOUL right out of those beans. It’s that pure soul that fuels the hustle and tastes freaking amazing. A French Press also elevates your social game. Sure, your tea slurping friends will not understand the power that you’re now wielding, but let’s be brutally honest, are tea drinkers really good friends anyway? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your friendships, just sayin’.
Eco-Friendly & What-Not
Do your part to save the planet and stuff by switching to a French Press. You can savor your Pure Grind Coffee and know that you didn’t kill a freaking rain forest that morning to brew your black gold. With ZERO paper involved, your Pure Grind Coffee will not only taste better, but you can sleep better at night knowing you’ve made a difference to keep this freaking planet alive for at least one more day. Breathe that shit in and revel in it, AND bonus, you don’t have to slap earthy, tree-huggin’ bumper stickers all over your Prius to tell the world how much you care about the planet, unless you want to, of course.
So. Drink Up Bitches.
You’ve come a long way friend, and if you made it through this post, you need to snag a French Press NOW. If you snag one of our Coffee Snob Kits, it comes with your very own French Press. OR you can pick one up at your local Target or the Amazon place. Regardless, you’re gonna be a coffee snob badass. Enjoy.
Coffee Snob Tip: Skip the Long Lines, Buy Pure Grind
It’s 6:45 in the morning, and you’re on your way to a meeting. From the jackass in traffic to your annoying-as-hell client, the Apple Watch on your wrist is buzzing with bullshit you can’t even deal with yet. You’re shaking; you haven’t even had your coffee yet — the sweet soul of your existence — so you’re cranky as hell. On your drive, you spot a big sign for a corporate coffee joint in a shopping plaza. It’s the only one you see around and your GPS says it’ll be miles before you come across another. So, you make the ultimate sacrifice and walk into the marketplace of doom.
What the Actual Hell…
This place looks like it was furnished by a big corp store that makes its generic-looking products in a sweatshop. You prefer the sustainable local shop with pallet table tops, industrial light fixtures, and exposed ceiling pipes. With the minimalist furniture and decor — the way you like it, sitting beside the people who get you. At this trash shop, these people don’t even recycle, man. It’s not your first choice, but it’ll do; you need your fix.
It’s Packed.
Everyone and their freaking mother is there. The line is out of the door, but dammit, you need your fix. The woman in front of you is wearing workout leggings and a shirt that says some spiritual yoga mantra. “20 triple macchiato, make it skinny, decaf, no dairy, no soy, no sugar, no fat,” she tells the bustling barista behind the counter who is quickly trying to note all of this customer’s insane requests. Hurry the F up. Nama-stay out of my way. You’re about to lose your shit now and flip these mass-produced, commercialized tables over.
Finally.
Finally, the time has come; Matcha Mocha Triple DeCaf mom is out of your way and your order comes up. Simple, yet beautifully black. No milk-washed foolishness topped with whipped cream and caramel, mocha, cinnamon sugary-ass drizzles. Pure, dark, and rich. Or so you thought. This stuff is vile. It tastes like charred black water in a damn cup. After tossing that crap in the grass, you make your escape. You’ve have made it out of this hellhole completely unfulfilled.
You’re Too Good For This Nonsense.
You don’t want to put up with this crap. Well, what if we told you that you could skip the long lines with the matcha-drinking yoga moms holding up the line and slowing you down? Ditch that burnt mud. We recommend you become a master barista right in your own dang home. No line, no waiting, no filters, no GMOs, no-nonsense. Just bold, bitchin’ beans, a grinder, and a French Press — delivered right to your door. Snag it all in our deluxe Coffee Snob Kit.
Welcome To The Club.
Welcome to the best damn club you’ll ever be in. You’re a snob, a purist, an elitist. Accept it — Own It! Now you’re one of us and we couldn’t be prouder. Grind those badass beans, brew that bad boy, take that first sip of pure black magic. Imagine… pouring that steaming hot deliciousness into your tumbler. The angels are singing. The Heavens are rejoicing. Now, you can drive past that cringy cult-like shop beaming with pride knowing you’re not subjecting yourself to that pure and diabolical sludge torture EVER again. You’re a Pure Grind coffee snob, and that’s the way we like it.
Grab The Kit And Be ONE Of Us.
The Official Coffee Snob Gift Giving Guide
Do you want to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas ever? Then you need to follow this freaking amazeballs coffee snob gift guide! At Pure Grind, we’re not about hugs and hot cocoa. We’re not merry and bright. We’re hustlers who drink damn good coffee. Ditch the frothy, Christmas-in-a-cup-flavored bullshit. Coffee should be drunk in its natural state — dark, raw, and bold. Respect the bitchin’ bean. With that said, your bag of boldly-roasted beans needs some accessories to go with it. Give the gift of kickass coffee snobbery this holiday season. Or you’re getting coal.
Steady Stream of Hustle
Skip the single-dose and opt for triple danger! The small-batch subscription of Pure Grind coffee is what everyone needs in their life. It’s bold and unapologetic for being its awesome, authentic self — just like you. Each batch of Pure Grind beans is meticulously and freshly roasted. Subscribe and get the bags delivered right to you via the magical mobile delivery service. It’s the fuel you need for your hustle, you freaking badass.
Coffee Snob Starter Kit
You’re already a kickass coffee snob, so it’s best you gift this Coffee Snob Starter Kit to someone in your life who desperately needs a good bump. Your friends need to join the coveted coffee snob club, and this is the place to start. It comes with three bags of freshly-roasted awesomeness and the choice of either a French press or coffee grinder. The Pure Grind Coffee snob starter kit makes for an amazing gift to convert coffee heathens to the light.
Pure Grind Coffee Snob Deluxe Kit
The Pure Grind Coffee Snob Deluxe Kit comes with everything you need to pursue the coffee snobbery arts. Three bags of freshly-roasted Pure Grind whole beans, one French press, and one coffee grinder. You’ll NEVER drink coffee the same, and you shouldn’t anyway.
Gift Card
If you want something simple, gift the gift of coffee awesomeness. A Pure Grind Coffee gift card makes a perfect gift for the purist, the go-getter. Fuel the hustle with a Pure Grind gift card. This gift card never expires. And to your friends who choose to continue drinking crappy coffee, say, "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah." Cheers!
Keep The Pressure On
You did it — you bagged that killer deal you’ve been working on for months. All your pumpkin-latte-drinking coworkers want you to go out and celebrate the new achievement. But screw that, you’re a hustler, a coffee snob, a freaking purist. While they are adding bullshit whipped cream to their coffee, you’re bold AF. In your mind, this achievement is simply another rung on the ladder of your success story and now you’re ready for the next damn step. What should you do now? Sit back and enjoy the freaking ride, man.
Kick Ass All Over Again
So you’ve won. It doesn’t end there. Keep on winning. Thrive on it. Write down more goals, and get moving. Ensuring that you always have a game plan is vital to the grind. Make sure you know where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’re going during your tenure in business. Start small, think big. And like we always say, 10X every damn thing you do. Take your goal of making $1,000 dollars and multiply it by 10. You’re a freaking superstar. There is nothing you can’t do.
Turn Up The Freaking Heat
In getting this new achievement, people will expect you to sit back and relax to reap the rewards of your newfound goal. But that’s what slackers do. You, my friend, are not a slacker. Leave that for people who drink shitty coffee. Instead, turn up the heat and increasingly impress those above and around you with how well you work and succeed. Give the people above you a reason to be pleased in their decision and motivate others to grow their own strategies.
Network, Network… And You Guessed It — Network
People get gigs left and right because of who they know. Why should this be a tactic to keep the pressure on? Because networking with people in power is just as crucial as working your ass off to hit that sales goal. Maintaining a solid network with the people around you is vital to the life of a hustler. Make connections. Bring a bag of Pure Grind, show them what good coffee tastes like, and change the world.
Keep on freaking winning with your favorite F-ing coffee snobs. 10X your shit, turn up the heat, and give your network a taste of what you’re all about. If they aren’t drinking good coffee, are they really your kind of people? You’re better than Peppermint Patty and Candy Cane Carl. Don’t taint your coffee and hustle with nonsense. Share the joy of Pure Grind with your circle. Our brew is pure, beautiful, aromatic, delicious... just as God intended it to be.