The Rise & Grind Blog, From Pure Grind Coffee
The Subtle Art OF True Coffee Snobbery
Welcome to Pure Grind Coffee, where we believe that being a coffee snob is more than just a preference – it's an elite status. If you're a coffee lover, you know that there's nothing quite like the taste of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee. But for coffee snobs, it's not just about the taste – it's about the entire coffee experience and from the second that you open a freshly roasted bag of Pure Grind, to the grind itself, to the AMAZING aroma, and then, that first blissful first sip, Pure Grind Coffee will quickly become your most favorite coffee on the planet.
First of all, let's clear up any misconceptions about what it means to be a coffee snob. Contrary to popular belief, being a coffee snob isn't about being pretentious or judgmental towards others, BUT, You do you, judge away if you want to, be pretentious as hell if it floats your boat. It's simply a way of appreciating the nuances and complexities of coffee. Coffee snobs take their coffee VERY seriously, and they're willing to go to great lengths to get the best cup possible.
So why is being a coffee snob elite? For one, it means that you have a refined palate. You can taste the subtle differences between beans from different regions and appreciate the unique characteristics of each roast. This level of discernment is not something that everyone possesses, and it sets coffee snobs apart as true connoisseurs. You’re also a badass. Celebrate that shit.
Being a coffee snob is more than just having a refined palate. It's also about the dedication to the craft of coffee. Coffee snobs are passionate about the entire process, from selecting the beans to brewing the perfect cup. They're willing to invest in high-quality equipment, like burr grinders and pour-over drippers, to ensure that their coffee is brewed to perfection.
In addition, being a coffee snob means that you're part of a community of like-minded badass individuals. Coffee snobs share their knowledge and passion with others, whether it's through recommending a new roast or sharing brewing tips. It's a community that values quality over quantity and appreciates the art of coffee.
So if you're a coffee lover who's ready to take your passion to the next level, it's time to embrace your inner coffee snob. Invest in high-quality beans, equipment, and accessories, and take the time to appreciate the subtleties of each cup, because, life is too freaking short. Join the community of coffee snobs who are dedicated to the craft and are always on the hunt for the perfect cup. Because when it comes to coffee, being a snob is not a bad thing – it's something you gotta celebrate EVERY DAMNED DAY.
Grind Those Pure Grind Gourmet Beans Like A Boss.
Coffee snobs, unite. Class is in session, so sit your asses down for the most important life lesson you’ll ever need. Learn how to grind the most bitchin’ batch of Pure Grind Coffee. You don’t half-ass these things all willy nilly. We’re coffee-obsessed, making us care deeply about the art and craft of the snobbery. The beans are freshly-roasted awesomeness for those who kick ass every day. You’ve committed to the bad-assery, so it’s time to do those beans good by grinding them right. Respect them by indulging in their most natural form: dark, pure, and rich. Take your hustle to a whole new freaking level with a darn good grind.
Badass Bladery for Grinding
If you want a magical cup of heaven, it all starts with freshly-ground coffee. Nobody wants craptastic coffee — charred with a hint of sink water. It all starts with the single-most-important equipment in your coffee and hustling game: the grinder. These days, there are a ton of options. So to help you out, we’ve narrowed it down to the most common types.
Hand Grinders
Hand grinders are perfect for anyone pinching pennies. We get it — the hustle is hard, and sometimes we have to start at the basics before we can appreciate the top of the line. You’re far from basic, but the hand grinder is the best option to get yourself going. Plus, with the amount of arm exercises that come with grinding, it’s a great way to get your morning workout in.
Blade Grinders
Wake up with a high-speed whir. With rotating blades similar to a blender, this grinder will ground up those beans real nice. If you’re brewing on a budget, this is your best bet, as they are low in price but get the job done better than a hand grinder.
Burr Grinders
Slowly grind your beans into even pieces with a handy-dandy burr grinder. The burr consists of two circular abrasive surfaces that chop the coffee into more consistent grounds. Choose from a manual one that allows you to crank by hand or an electric one with different functions from coarse to fine. Electric burr models typically cost more than blade grinders.
The Best Way to Brew
After the grinding comes the brewing. You need a French Press. Screw anyone who calls you a snob or an elitist. Wear that crown with pride. Ditch the paper filter nonsense that does nothing but suck the soul out of your beans. You need this device to properly feel that caffeine course through your veins. You’ll be doing your part for the planet and your body.
Grind Like a Hero
Do right by those beans. The beans deserve it. Hell, you deserve it. The cup of coffee isn’t the win; it’s the beans that truly matter. And don’t forget — if you purchase our Coffee Snob Deluxe Kit, you’ll receive the blessed French Press AND grinder. Snag yours now so you can elevate your hustle with Pure Grind Coffee.
Snag Some Gourmet Beans Today
Join the coveted coffee snob club with this coffee snob starter kit. You’ll get 3 16oz. bags of freshly roasted awesomeness and your choice of either a French Press or Coffee Grinder.
The Pure Grind Coffee snob starter kit ensures that your path to pure coffee snobbery will be short. Tear open that bag (with dignity of course), take in the heavenly aroma, grind those beans to perfection, brew, sip, sip some more, and then go and brew some more. Welcome to coffee snobbery at its finest, welcome to Pure Grind Coffee.
What Your Favorite Seasonal Drink Says About You
It’s that time of year again when the outdoor temperatures begin to drop, and you might start to be enticed by a hot, heart-warming cup of joe. As the seasons change, so do your coffee preferences, unless you’re the chilled-to-the-soul type who’ll gladly enjoy an iced coffee in freezing temperatures. Time to face the truth —- we may not mean to, but we judge the coffee orders of those in front of us in line. Whether you think their order is too sweet, too bitter, or just downright strange, here’s what their seasonal drink choices say about them.
Peppermint Mocha
You start putting up your Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, and by December 1, the whole roof is covered in lights. You enjoy the finer things in life and tend to be a little extra —- but aren’t we all?
Dirty Chai Latte
You have an extensive knowledge of indie movies and rotate three pairs of non-prescription reading glasses. You use the same blanket you’ve been using since childhood to curl up on the couch and relax to achieve maximum comfort. If it’s not broken, why fix it?
Hot Chocolate
You have a lot of stuffed animals. You blow on soup that's too hot. You love fuzzy blankets, fuzzy slippers, fuzzy jackets.
Caramel Apple Latte
You are warm-hearted and a friend to all. You take in strays and volunteer at the library in your free time, and you will cry if someone yells at you.
Salted Caramel Mocha
Fun-loving and witty — you never miss an opportunity to tell a dad joke. The only way you know how to flirt is through slight insults. Just like the drink, you’re sweet, but also a little salty!
Gingerbread Latte
Protective over the little things in life, because you want to wrap everyone and everything you love in bubble wrap. You are a perfectionist, and someone who always has to have the last word. Favorite hobby is binge watching Black Mirror on Netflix.
Eggnog Latte
You host the extravagant Christmas party people are dying to go to. You love being the life of the party, and you are the king/queen of the people pleasers. You dye your hair but decide that you want to change it back to the original everytime.
Apple Cider
No caffeine? How are you supposed to get your Christmas shopping done without caffeine?! How did you get on this list?!
Regular Eggnog
Not caffeinated, but it's got booze. You can stay.
Black Coffee
Seasons don’t matter to someone who thrives on consistency year round. Hot or cold, you drink black coffee because you’re bold. You don’t like to beat around the bush and are a strong believer in simplicity.
A Firm Coffee Foundation
Whatever your coffee preferences may be, always start with freshly roasted, lively flavored, rich beans from Pure Grind Coffee. Oh, and that eggnog, don’t skimp on the bourbon, it’s 2021 after all. Get shopping!
Join The Coffee Snob Club Today & Get Our Freshly Roasted Beans
Delivered EVERY Month. It’s Magical.
Bonjour Bitches: Why You Need A French Press
Fellow coffee snobs, it’s time. It’s time to take your coffee snobbery to a whole new freaking level. It’s time to kick it up a few notches, throw those papery assed filters away, and snag a FRENCH PRESS. Imagine pure bean on water action, with no paper filters to get in the way and suck up all of that coffee oil magic. Friends, it is indeed time to savor coffee brilliance on a whole new level. A French Press brings your coffee game to a whole new level. Sure. You’ll be called an elitist. Yes, you may be called a snob. But know this, you will have joined a club of connoisseurs like none other. You will have made the BIG TIME.
Coursing Through Your Veins
Coffee is, as it’s a powerful protector of many of your body’s organs, including the blood and gets your blood jacked for the hustle. Experts say the caffeine in coffee benefits the cardiovascular system. A French Press is designed for the raw grounds to directly touch the water, instead of flowing through a filter. That’s old news. We’re modern. Skip the paper crap so you can get all the good stuff — the nutrients and antioxidants that the coffee provides. You want your coffee to not just be full of flavor, but full of health benefits. An antioxidant-rich solution to your health concerns? Hell freaking yeah. Let’s PRESS on.
Pure Coffee Snobbery
ALL true Coffee snobs praise the French Press method of brewing because it allows you to drink coffee the way nature intended it to — in its purest form. When you plunge that plunger into the depths of your Pure Grind Coffee beans, you extract the truest essence and SOUL right out of those beans. It’s that pure soul that fuels the hustle and tastes freaking amazing. A French Press also elevates your social game. Sure, your tea slurping friends will not understand the power that you’re now wielding, but let’s be brutally honest, are tea drinkers really good friends anyway? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your friendships, just sayin’.
Eco-Friendly & What-Not
Do your part to save the planet and stuff by switching to a French Press. You can savor your Pure Grind Coffee and know that you didn’t kill a freaking rain forest that morning to brew your black gold. With ZERO paper involved, your Pure Grind Coffee will not only taste better, but you can sleep better at night knowing you’ve made a difference to keep this freaking planet alive for at least one more day. Breathe that shit in and revel in it, AND bonus, you don’t have to slap earthy, tree-huggin’ bumper stickers all over your Prius to tell the world how much you care about the planet, unless you want to, of course.
So. Drink Up Bitches.
You’ve come a long way friend, and if you made it through this post, you need to snag a French Press NOW. If you snag one of our Coffee Snob Kits, it comes with your very own French Press. OR you can pick one up at your local Target or the Amazon place. Regardless, you’re gonna be a coffee snob badass. Enjoy.
Don’t Pull Your Hair Out, Mom. Drink Pure Grind.
What Freaking Day Is It Today?
It’s day ??? in quarantine. Hair is not washed. Clothes have not been changed in days. Did I even put deodorant on? I think I brushed my teeth, but who knows. My nights have now turned into sitting on the edge of the couch staring at the ceiling. Sometimes the wall. Sometimes the floor. Depends on the mood. I need a nap, but in between playing with Tommy’s toes and cleaning Karen’s messes, there is no time. There is NO time.
Viruses Suck
I’ve been thinking a lot about this virus horseshit. Not only are we surviving a novel disease, but we are surviving the quote “home-based learning.” Coronavirus school closures have turned us parents into teachers of the freaking of the year, and I sure as hell don’t remember asking for a career change. Like why does it matter what 26 + y = x is? We spent our lives learning algebra and we never even freaking use it. So why do I have to teach it? I just want to tell my kid, just be stupid then. We are not built for this!
We’re ALL Going Crazy
After this, I promise to never cancel plans with friends, be too busy for a date night (although I want to kill my husband...), and I sure as hell will appreciate my child’s teachers more. Give them all raises. Teachers are not paid enough. I know now from personal experience!
When someone asks me if I am okay, I laugh maniacally and twitch an eye. Check on your homeschooling moms. We are not okay.
Mommy Needs A Little Freaking Quiet Time
Tune the children out. Hide in your closet. You’re probably thinking about partaking in God’s favorite juicy lettuce for the first time, a shot or 8 of Jack Daniel’s, a couple hits of CBD, but the fix you REALLY need is from Pure Grind Coffee. We are as essential as the rest of them. We’re not sure what day it is either, but with our coffee, it doesn’t matter. While sipping this delectable magical juice, counting down the days until school starts again will become more tolerable. It’s not a cure, but it’s a critical tool in your parenting kit. We are in this together. Now drink up because you have to clean up the paint little Karen put on the walls, and stop little Tommy from eating chalk.
Snag A Bag And Snag Some Sanity
You need these small batch coffee beans in your life. They’re bold. They’re delicious. They don’t apologize for being their awesome self. Our kick-ass beans come from the mountains of Central and South America and boast low acidity with an amazing bold flavor profile that will probably change your life.
Each batch of Pure Grind is meticulously roasted in small batches so your beans will be amazingly fresh AND awesome. Enjoy a 16oz bag today!.
Coffee Snob Tip: Skip the Long Lines, Buy Pure Grind
It’s 6:45 in the morning, and you’re on your way to a meeting. From the jackass in traffic to your annoying-as-hell client, the Apple Watch on your wrist is buzzing with bullshit you can’t even deal with yet. You’re shaking; you haven’t even had your coffee yet — the sweet soul of your existence — so you’re cranky as hell. On your drive, you spot a big sign for a corporate coffee joint in a shopping plaza. It’s the only one you see around and your GPS says it’ll be miles before you come across another. So, you make the ultimate sacrifice and walk into the marketplace of doom.
What the Actual Hell…
This place looks like it was furnished by a big corp store that makes its generic-looking products in a sweatshop. You prefer the sustainable local shop with pallet table tops, industrial light fixtures, and exposed ceiling pipes. With the minimalist furniture and decor — the way you like it, sitting beside the people who get you. At this trash shop, these people don’t even recycle, man. It’s not your first choice, but it’ll do; you need your fix.
It’s Packed.
Everyone and their freaking mother is there. The line is out of the door, but dammit, you need your fix. The woman in front of you is wearing workout leggings and a shirt that says some spiritual yoga mantra. “20 triple macchiato, make it skinny, decaf, no dairy, no soy, no sugar, no fat,” she tells the bustling barista behind the counter who is quickly trying to note all of this customer’s insane requests. Hurry the F up. Nama-stay out of my way. You’re about to lose your shit now and flip these mass-produced, commercialized tables over.
Finally.
Finally, the time has come; Matcha Mocha Triple DeCaf mom is out of your way and your order comes up. Simple, yet beautifully black. No milk-washed foolishness topped with whipped cream and caramel, mocha, cinnamon sugary-ass drizzles. Pure, dark, and rich. Or so you thought. This stuff is vile. It tastes like charred black water in a damn cup. After tossing that crap in the grass, you make your escape. You’ve have made it out of this hellhole completely unfulfilled.
You’re Too Good For This Nonsense.
You don’t want to put up with this crap. Well, what if we told you that you could skip the long lines with the matcha-drinking yoga moms holding up the line and slowing you down? Ditch that burnt mud. We recommend you become a master barista right in your own dang home. No line, no waiting, no filters, no GMOs, no-nonsense. Just bold, bitchin’ beans, a grinder, and a French Press — delivered right to your door. Snag it all in our deluxe Coffee Snob Kit.
Welcome To The Club.
Welcome to the best damn club you’ll ever be in. You’re a snob, a purist, an elitist. Accept it — Own It! Now you’re one of us and we couldn’t be prouder. Grind those badass beans, brew that bad boy, take that first sip of pure black magic. Imagine… pouring that steaming hot deliciousness into your tumbler. The angels are singing. The Heavens are rejoicing. Now, you can drive past that cringy cult-like shop beaming with pride knowing you’re not subjecting yourself to that pure and diabolical sludge torture EVER again. You’re a Pure Grind coffee snob, and that’s the way we like it.
Grab The Kit And Be ONE Of Us.
The Official Coffee Snob Gift Giving Guide
Do you want to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas ever? Then you need to follow this freaking amazeballs coffee snob gift guide! At Pure Grind, we’re not about hugs and hot cocoa. We’re not merry and bright. We’re hustlers who drink damn good coffee. Ditch the frothy, Christmas-in-a-cup-flavored bullshit. Coffee should be drunk in its natural state — dark, raw, and bold. Respect the bitchin’ bean. With that said, your bag of boldly-roasted beans needs some accessories to go with it. Give the gift of kickass coffee snobbery this holiday season. Or you’re getting coal.
Steady Stream of Hustle
Skip the single-dose and opt for triple danger! The small-batch subscription of Pure Grind coffee is what everyone needs in their life. It’s bold and unapologetic for being its awesome, authentic self — just like you. Each batch of Pure Grind beans is meticulously and freshly roasted. Subscribe and get the bags delivered right to you via the magical mobile delivery service. It’s the fuel you need for your hustle, you freaking badass.
Coffee Snob Starter Kit
You’re already a kickass coffee snob, so it’s best you gift this Coffee Snob Starter Kit to someone in your life who desperately needs a good bump. Your friends need to join the coveted coffee snob club, and this is the place to start. It comes with three bags of freshly-roasted awesomeness and the choice of either a French press or coffee grinder. The Pure Grind Coffee snob starter kit makes for an amazing gift to convert coffee heathens to the light.
Pure Grind Coffee Snob Deluxe Kit
The Pure Grind Coffee Snob Deluxe Kit comes with everything you need to pursue the coffee snobbery arts. Three bags of freshly-roasted Pure Grind whole beans, one French press, and one coffee grinder. You’ll NEVER drink coffee the same, and you shouldn’t anyway.
Gift Card
If you want something simple, gift the gift of coffee awesomeness. A Pure Grind Coffee gift card makes a perfect gift for the purist, the go-getter. Fuel the hustle with a Pure Grind gift card. This gift card never expires. And to your friends who choose to continue drinking crappy coffee, say, "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah." Cheers!